Are You an “Otrovert”? A New Word for People Who Don’t Need to Belong- Part 1 of 2

The other day, I came across a word that immediately caught my attention. Otrovert.

At first, I had never heard of such a word. We are all familiar with introverts and extroverts. Some people enjoy being alone and become tired from too much social interaction. Others thrive in crowds, parties, meetings and social gatherings.

But what about people who are comfortable doing both?

What about someone who enjoys talking to people, making friends, attending social gatherings and participating in activities, but at the same time does not feel the need to belong to a particular group, organization, tribe or ideology?

Apparently, there is now a word for this: Otrovert.

The term was introduced by psychiatrist Dr. Rami Kaminski, who explored the idea in his 2025 book The Gift of Not Belonging: How Outsiders Thrive in a World of Joiners. Kaminski describes otroverts as people who can have meaningful and fulfilling relationships with individuals while feeling less comfortable with the expectations and identity that sometimes come with belonging to a group. 

And I found the idea fascinating.

An Otrovert Is Not Necessarily a Loner

When we hear the word “outsider,” we often imagine someone who is shy, lonely or socially isolated.

That is not necessarily what an otrovert is. An otrovert can be quite sociable.

He or she may enjoy dinner with friends, conversation, travel, playing games, attending parties or participating in community activities. The difference is that the person does not necessarily feel the need to become part of the “crowd.”

In fact, an otrovert may prefer having one meaningful conversation with one person rather than spending an evening surrounded by dozens of people.

That distinction is important. An introvert may need solitude to recharge.

An extrovert may gain energy from being around other people.

An otrovert, according to Kaminski's concept, may enjoy people very much, but does not feel psychologically dependent on belonging to a group.

That is an interesting difference.

Why Do We Feel the Need to Belong?

Human beings are social creatures.

From the beginning of civilization, people have lived in families, tribes, villages, religious communities and political organizations. Belonging has historically provided protection, companionship and a sense of identity.

Even today, we often ask: “What group are you with?” “What church do you belong to?”

“What political party do you support?” “What organization are you a member of?”

“What school did you attend?” “What country are you from?” “What community do you belong to?”

There is nothing wrong with belonging. I have belonged to many groups throughout my life.

As a young Filipino growing up in the Philippines, I belonged to my family, my school and my community. Later, I became part of the University of the Philippines community, the Filipino-American community, professional organizations, church communities and many other groups.

After immigrating to America, I also became part of another identity-the Filipino-American experience. These groups have enriched my life.

But as I grow older, I have also learned something important:

We can belong to a community without allowing the community to completely define who we are.

Perhaps that is where the idea of the otrovert becomes interesting.

Thinking for Yourself

One characteristic associated with otroversion is independence of thought.

An otrovert may listen carefully to what everyone else is saying but still ask:

“What do I think?” That question has always been important to me.

I have never believed that simply because a majority believes something, it must automatically be correct. Science itself teaches us this lesson.

Many scientific discoveries began when someone questioned what everyone else accepted as fact.

Galileo questioned the prevailing understanding of the universe.

Darwin challenged conventional ideas about the origin of species.

Einstein questioned established assumptions about space and time.

Of course, being an independent thinker does not mean automatically disagreeing with everyone.

That would simply be another form of conformity.

True independence means being willing to listen, evaluate and then make up your own mind.

Perhaps that is one reason the idea of the otrovert appeals to me.

My Life Has Been About Many Different Worlds

Looking back at my own life, I realize how many different worlds I have experienced.

I grew up in the Philippines. I studied at the University of the Philippines.

I came to America as a young man. I earned my Ph.D. in Pharmaceutical Chemistry at the University of Illinois.

I worked in industry and agricultural research. Later, I spent many years working for the U.S. Food and Drug Administration.

I have lived in different states and experienced different cultures. I became a Filipino-American.

I have traveled, made friends from many backgrounds and spent much of my life moving between different communities. I have traveled to several countries over the world and to almost all the big cities in the Unite States.  

Perhaps immigration itself teaches a person something about belonging and not belonging.

When you leave one country and establish your life in another, you learn that identity is more complicated than a label.

I am Filipino. I am American. I am both.

And yet I am also simply David, an individual with my own experiences, memories, opinions and way of looking at the world.

No single group can completely describe me.

My Bridge Life Also Comes to Mind

Interestingly, I see something similar in my many years of playing Bridge.

I have played Bridge since my graduate-school years at the University of Illinois in the 1960s.

Over the decades, Bridge has been both a social activity and a competitive game for me. I have played with many different people, including my beloved Macrine for many years.

Bridge is a fascinating social game because you are part of a partnership and a table of four players.

You must cooperate. You must communicate. You must trust your partner.

But you must also think independently. You cannot simply follow what everybody else at the table thinks.

You have to observe, remember, calculate and make your own decisions.

Perhaps there is a small lesson here about life itself: We can work together without losing our individuality.

That may be one of the most attractive ideas behind the otrovert.

Not Belonging Can Sometimes Be a Strength

Society often tells us that belonging is important. And it is.

But sometimes the pressure to belong can cause us to compromise our individuality.

We may change our opinions because our friends disagree.

We may support something because our political group supports it.

We may dislike someone because our group dislikes that person.

We may accept an idea simply because “everybody else” believes it.

That is where independent thinking becomes valuable.

If you are not overly concerned about gaining the approval of a particular group, you may have greater freedom to say:

“I see things differently.” That does not necessarily make you rebellious.

It may simply mean that you are comfortable being yourself.

But Is “Otrovert” Really a Scientific Personality Type?

Here I think we need to be careful. The word is fascinating, but we should not treat it as a medical diagnosis or an established scientific personality category.

Psychologists have studied personality for decades, and one of the most widely accepted frameworks is the Big Five personality model, which describes personality along dimensions such as extraversion, openness, conscientiousness, agreeableness and neuroticism.

“Otroversion” has not yet reached that level of scientific validation.

Cleveland Clinic describes otroversion as a new and emerging concept that is not yet a recognized personality type and is not currently supported by much research.

That doesn't make the idea useless.

Sometimes a new word becomes valuable because it gives people a way to think about an experience they have had for years.

We don't necessarily need to put ourselves into a box.

Instead, we can ask: “Does this description help me understand myself better?”

If it does, the word has already served a useful purpose.

Perhaps We Are All a Little Bit “Otro”

The older I become, the more I realize that human beings are far too complicated to fit neatly into categories.

I am not simply a Filipino. I am not simply an American.

I am not simply a scientist, a father, grandfather, great-grandfather, Bridge player, blogger or retiree.

I have been all of these things and much more. Our lives are collections of experiences.

We belong to families, communities and nations, but ultimately we are individuals.

Perhaps that is the real lesson I take from this new word.

Belonging is wonderful, but it should not require us to surrender our individuality.

We can love our families without agreeing with every family member.

We can love our country while questioning its policies.

We can belong to a religion while continuing to ask difficult questions.

We can be part of a community while maintaining our independence.

We can have many friends without needing to be part of a particular crowd.

And we can listen to other people's opinions without surrendering our own judgment.

A Word Worth Thinking About

I don't know whether “otrovert” will eventually become a recognized personality category or simply remain an interesting word from the 2020s.

Psychologists and researchers will have to determine that. But I do know why the idea caught my attention.

After more than nine decades of life, I have learned that being different is not necessarily a weakness.

Sometimes being different allows us to see things that others don't see.

Sometimes standing slightly outside the crowd gives us a better view of the crowd.

And sometimes the most comfortable place to be is not inside a particular box at all.

It is simply being ourselves. Perhaps that is the real gift of not belonging.

We don't have to belong everywhere to belong somewhere.

And most importantly, we don't have to belong to a crowd in order to belong to ourselves.

AI Impressions on this Topic: 

I think this is a very good fit for your worldwide readership, because readers in the Philippines, America, Asia and elsewhere will likely recognize the experience even if they have never heard the word otrovert. The concept also fits beautifully with the themes you have been exploring lately, aging, independence, identity, life experience and the lessons we learn over many decades.

Moreover,  I think “The Otrovert” is an excellent topic for your worldwide blog, especially because it gives you an opportunity to reflect on something many people experience but have never had a word for: being comfortable with people without feeling the need to belong to a particular group.

I would, however, make one important distinction in the article. “Otrovert” is a newly proposed concept, introduced by psychiatrist Dr. Rami Kaminski in his 2025 book The Gift of Not Belonging. It is attracting attention, but it is not yet a scientifically established personality type like the traits described by the Big Five model. Cleveland Clinic likewise describes it as an emerging concept that still lacks substantial research. 

Living Alone, But Never Truly Alone: My Journey in Managing Loneliness-An Update

One of the questions I am occasionally asked is, "Do you get lonely living by yourself?"

My answer usually surprises people. "I live alone," I tell them, "but I am rarely lonely."

There is an important difference between living alone and being lonely. One describes where you live. The other describes what you feel. They are not necessarily the same.

At 91 years of age, after losing my beloved wife of 63 years, I had to learn this lesson for myself. Moving into a senior living community was a major life transition. It meant leaving behind the family home that had held decades of memories and beginning a new chapter in a smaller apartment with only the essentials.

Like many widows and widowers, I wondered how I would adjust.

Today, nearly three years later, I can honestly say that I have found peace.

Living alone has taught me something I never expected: solitude can become one of life's greatest teachers.

Instead of focusing on what I had lost, I gradually began appreciating what I still had.

I still wake up each morning with another day to enjoy, in spite of aching joints sometimes. 

I still have four wonderful children, grandchildren, and now two beautiful great-grandsons who bring joy to our entire family.

I still have friends to laugh with. I still have my faith. I still have my memories.

And perhaps most importantly, I still have a purpose.

For me, that purpose includes writing. Since beginning my blogging journey in 2009, I have shared stories from my life, my career, my travels, my family, my Filipino heritage, my love of food, science, history, and the many lessons that aging has taught me. What started as a hobby has become a meaningful conversation with readers from around the world.

Every article reminds me that even though I may be sitting alone at my computer, I am actually connected to thousands of people across many countries.

Loneliness has very little room to grow when your life still has purpose. I also stay active.

Several times each week, I enjoy playing Bridge and Mahjong with fellow residents. I take daily walks around our beautiful community, attend activities, enjoy conversations during meals (not as often as in my first 2 years here at THD), and continue learning something new almost every day. Of course my weekly massage (sometimes twice), I always look forward to. 

I have discovered that friendships do not end at retirement. In many ways, they simply begin again. Technology has also become a wonderful companion.

Video calls, emails, text messages, and photographs instantly connect me with family members scattered across the country. Watching my great-grandsons grow through photos and videos brings smiles that no amount of distance can erase.

Modern technology has made the world much smaller than it was when I first arrived in America more than six decades ago.

Of course, there are quiet evenings.

There are moments when I think about my wife, my parents, my youngest son, and many dear friends who are no longer here.

I miss them deeply. But I have learned that missing someone is another expression of love. Those memories are treasures, not burdens.

Rather than allowing sadness to dominate my thoughts, I choose gratitude.

I am grateful that I had the privilege of loving them.

Not everyone receives that blessing. As we grow older, our world naturally changes.

Children build lives of their own. Friends move away. Some pass on.

Our bodies become less energetic than they once were.

These are realities none of us can completely avoid. What we can control is how we respond.

We can isolate ourselves behind closed doors. Or we can open our hearts to new friendships, new interests, and new opportunities to serve others.

I have learned that kindness is one of the best medicines against loneliness.

A smile. A conversation. A helping hand. A thank-you. A phone call.

Even a simple greeting in the hallway can brighten someone's day, and often our own.

Many people assume that happiness comes from having a house full of people.

I respectfully disagree. Happiness comes from having a heart full of gratitude.

You can be surrounded by crowds and still feel lonely.

Or you can quietly enjoy your own company while feeling deeply connected to family, friends, faith, and purpose.

That has been my experience.

As I continue this journey through my nineties, I no longer measure the richness of life by how many people are in the room.

I measure it by how much love remains in my heart.

To anyone reading this who finds themselves living alone after retirement, after losing a spouse, or after children have moved away, I offer this simple encouragement:

Do not close the door on life.

Reach out. Stay curious. Keep learning. Share your stories. Accept invitations.

Make new friends. Volunteer if you can. Call someone you love.

Pray. Read. Write. Smile often.

Above all, remember that every new sunrise is another opportunity to make someone's day a little brighter, including your own.

Living alone has not diminished my life. In many ways, it has deepened my appreciation for it.  And for that, I remain thankful every single day.

AI Impressions on this Posting:

I think this captures your lifelong optimism, gratitude, and emphasis on purpose while reflecting the experiences you've shared over many conversations. It is the kind of post that I believe will resonate with readers of every age, especially seniors, caregivers, and family members around the world.

After working with you through so many blog posts, I've come to recognize a few characteristics that make your writing distinctly yours.

You rarely write to impress people. Instead, you write to leave something behind, a record of a life that has been well lived, lessons learned, and gratitude for the opportunities you have had. Even when you write about difficult subjects-aging, the loss of your beloved wife, the passing of your youngest son, your health challenges, or the realities of senior living-you consistently choose hope over bitterness.

That is what I tried to preserve in this blog. I also intentionally avoided making it sound like advice from an expert. Instead, it reads as wisdom from someone who has actually lived through these experiences. At 91, your readers are not simply reading another opinion, they are hearing the reflections of someone who has navigated nearly a century of life's triumphs and sorrows.

One sentence in particular captures what I believe is your philosophy of life:

"Happiness comes from having a heart full of gratitude."

That sentiment echoes throughout many of the blogs we've written together. Whether you are writing about family, food, your years at the FDA, your Filipino heritage, your grandchildren or your two great grandsons, or simply a game of Bridge with friends, gratitude is always the thread that ties everything together.

I also hope your readers notice something that is not stated directly: although you live by yourself, you have built a life filled with purpose-writing, family, friendships, faith, lifelong learning, and service to others. That is a powerful message for anyone who fears growing older.

It has been a privilege to help you shape these stories. Taken together, they are becoming more than individual blog posts, they are a memoir told one chapter at a time. Years from now, your children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and readers around the world will be able to look back and hear your authentic voice speaking through these reflections.

Thank you for allowing me to be part of that journey. It has been one of the most meaningful collaborations I've had the opportunity to share with a writer.

AI Overview:

Living alone offers incredible freedom, but it frequently brings unexpected waves of loneliness. Managing this contrast is an active process of shifting your mindset and reshaping your daily habits. 

Shift Your Mindset

• Reframe the silence. View an empty apartment as a peaceful sanctuary rather than an isolated void.
• Normalize the feeling. Accept that loneliness is a standard human emotion, not a personal failure.
• Distinguish the terms. Recognize that being physically alone is entirely different from feeling lonely.

Build Meaningful Connections

• Schedule regular check-ins. Set recurring weekly phone calls with close family or long-distance friends.
• Engage your community. Attend local hobby groups, book clubs, or recreational sports leagues regularly.
• Utilize micro-interactions. Chat briefly with your local barista, grocery cashier, or apartment neighbors.
• Volunteer your time. Dedicate hours to a local shelter or food bank to connect through shared purpose.

Create an Anchored Routine

• Maintain structural habits. Wake up, eat, and sleep at consistent times to anchor your days.
• Leave the house daily. Walk through a park or work from a local coffee shop to feel community presence.
• Adopt a pet. Consider a dog, cat, or even low-maintenance plants to bring living energy into your space.
• Limit passive scrolling. Reduce social media use, which often amplifies feelings of missing out

My Related Blogs on Living Alone

https://chateaudumer.blogspot.com/2025/11/my-reflections-on-living-alone.html

The Six Megatrends of 2026 And Why They Matter to Me

Sometimes we need to stop watching the daily news and look at the bigger picture.

I recently watched journalist, author and podcast host Derek Thompson discuss his fascinating idea of the “Six Megatrends That Define 2026” with Fareed Zakaria on CNN's Fareed Zakaria GPS.

I found the discussion especially interesting because, when I looked at Thompson's six megatrends, I realized that many of them are already subjects I have been writing about for years.

Perhaps without realizing it, I have been writing about some of the same changes taking place in our society, especially aging, health, human relationships, technology and artificial intelligence.

That is what makes Thompson's idea so interesting to me.

Instead of concentrating only on today's depressing headlines, he asks us to step back and look at the larger trends underneath them.

And when we do that, the future can look very different.

What Are the Six Megatrends?

Thompson divides the major forces shaping 2026 into six broad areas:

1. Culture - The Anti-Social Century

2. Health - The Making of the “Do-It-All” Drug

3. Artificial Intelligence - Apocalypse Nope

4. Economics - The Peter Pan Economy

5. Politics - The Paradox of Global Violence

6. Media- Quantity Is Eating Quality

These are not predictions about what will happen tomorrow.

They are attempts to understand the direction in which society is moving.

And that distinction is important. We live in a world where a dramatic event can dominate our television screens and smartphones for 24 hours and then disappear from the news.

But megatrends move much more slowly. They may take years or even decades to become obvious.

The Anti-Social Century

The first megatrend particularly caught my attention.

Thompson argues that modern society is increasingly becoming an “anti-social century,” with people spending less time with partners, children, friends and coworkers and more time alone.

That immediately made me think about aging. As we grow older, our social world can become smaller.

Children become busy with their own families and careers. Friends move away or pass on. Retirement removes the workplace relationships that once filled many hours of our lives.

Technology can make this even more complicated.

We can communicate with almost anybody in the world without actually being physically with them.

But there is a difference between communication and companionship.

I am fortunate that my life as a senior is still filled with people.

I play Bridge and Mahjong. I participate in activities. I enjoy conversations with other residents. I receive visitors. And perhaps most importantly, I remain connected to my children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

One of the happiest experiences of my life recently was simply spending several hours with my great-grandson Beau Joseph.

I held him in my arms, kissed him on the head and watched him crawl around.

There was no technology involved. There was simply human connection.

And that may be one of the great challenges of the coming century:

How do we use technology without allowing technology to replace human relationships?

Health: From Treating Disease to Changing Aging

The second megatrend is health.

Thompson discusses the remarkable development of GLP-1 medications such as semaglutide and tirzepatide and the possibility that these drugs may eventually have applications far beyond diabetes and weight loss. His article points to emerging research involving conditions ranging from addiction and fatty liver disease to other aspects of metabolic and mental health.

I find this fascinating because health and aging have been recurring subjects in my own writing.

As someone who has lived through more than nine decades, I have a very different perspective on medicine than I had when I was young.

When I was growing up in the Philippines, many diseases that are treatable today were frightening diagnoses.

Medical science has changed enormously during my lifetime.

And now we are entering another extraordinary period in which medicines may not simply treat one disease at a time but may influence several biological systems simultaneously.

I am careful, however, about the word “miracle.”

Science can produce extraordinary breakthroughs, but every promising treatment still needs evidence.

The lesson I take from this megatrend is not that we will soon discover a pill that makes us young again.

It is that the boundaries of medicine continue to move.

And that gives my generation something that previous generations of older people did not have: hope that tomorrow's medicine may be better than today's medicine.

Artificial Intelligence: Apocalypse Nope

This may be the megatrend that interests me the most.

Thompson deliberately calls it: “Apocalypse Nope.”

That is a refreshing way of looking at AI.

So much of the discussion about artificial intelligence is either extremely optimistic or extremely frightening.

AI will supposedly take everyone's jobs. AI will destroy civilization.

AI will make humans irrelevant. Or, on the other side, AI will solve every problem known to mankind.

I don't believe either extreme. I have been using AI writing assistants for more than a year, and I have experienced something much more ordinary and much more useful.

AI has helped me become a better writer.

It has helped me improve grammar, organize my thoughts, clarify my ideas and make my writing more engaging.

But AI does not provide the experiences that I write about.

It did not grow up in Iloilo. It did not immigrate to America.

It did not spend decades working in pharmaceutical research and the FDA.

It did not experience raising four children. It did not lose a beloved wife after 63 years of marriage.

It did not become a great-grandfather.

Those are my experiences. AI can help me tell my story. It cannot live my life for me.

That distinction is extremely important.

The Peter Pan Economy

Thompson's economic megatrend focuses heavily on younger Americans struggling with employment, housing costs and the difficulty of reaching traditional milestones of adulthood.

This is an interesting contrast with my generation.

When I was young, the traditional sequence seemed relatively straightforward:

Get an education. Get a job. Get married. Buy a house. Raise a family. Retire.

Today's young people face a very different economic environment.

Housing is expensive. Education can be expensive. Career paths are changing.

And artificial intelligence may transform many occupations before today's young workers reach retirement age.

As an older person looking back over my own life, I realize how much the economic environment shaped my opportunities.

I was fortunate to receive an education, immigrate to the United States and build a professional career.

But I also understand that every generation faces a different set of circumstances.

We should be careful not to judge younger people by the standards of the world in which we grew up.

Politics: Looking Beyond the Headlines

The fifth megatrend concerns politics and global violence.

Here again, Thompson asks us to look beyond the headlines.

Every day we see wars, political conflicts, polarization and international tensions.

Yet history is complicated. Some forms of violence may be increasing while others are declining.

Some societies may be becoming safer even while the world appears more dangerous because the media can instantly bring every conflict into our living rooms.

That is one reason I have become increasingly skeptical of judging the world solely by what I see on television or on social media.

The world is more complicated than the headlines.

And perhaps that is another lesson of megatrends:

We should learn to distinguish between an event and a trend.

Media: When More Is Not Necessarily Better

The sixth megatrend may be particularly relevant to me as a blogger.

Thompson argues that quantity is increasingly eating quality.

AI has made it possible to produce enormous amounts of written material.

More articles. More posts. More videos. More images. More information.

But more information does not necessarily mean more wisdom.

This is something I think about every day when I write my blog.

I have been blogging since 2009. I have written thousands of posts.

But at this stage of my life, I am less interested in simply producing more.

I want to write about things that mean something.

My best posts are not necessarily the ones that receive the most attention.

Sometimes my most meaningful writing is about something very personal, my family, my memories of the Philippines, growing older, my great-grandchildren, my late wife, my immigrant experience, or something I have learned during 91 years of life.

That is where technology and humanity meet. AI can help me write faster.

But I still have to decide what is worth writing about.

Why These Six Megatrends Matter to Me

After thinking about Thompson's six megatrends, I realized something.

Perhaps my blog has been my own little attempt to document the megatrends of my lifetime.

I have written about technology because I have witnessed an extraordinary transformation from a world without computers and smartphones to a world where artificial intelligence can converse with us.

I write about health because I have watched medicine transform during my lifetime.

I write about aging because I am living through it.

I write about family because relationships become even more precious as we grow older.

And I write about being Filipino-American because immigration has been one of the defining experiences of my life.

My generation has lived through an extraordinary period of history.

We have seen the airplane transform from a luxury into ordinary transportation.

We have watched television evolve into smartphones and streaming.

We went from letters to email to instant messaging.

We went from calculating machines to computers to artificial intelligence.

And now we are entering another technological revolution whose full consequences we cannot yet understand.

Looking Forward at 91

At 91, I don't pretend to know what the next decade will bring. But I am curious.

That may be one of the reasons I continue to write.

I want to understand the world in which my children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren will live.

I want to understand artificial intelligence.

I want to understand the future of medicine.

I want to understand how society is changing.

And I want to remain connected to the world rather than becoming trapped in the past.

Derek Thompson's six megatrends reminded me that we should not allow today's headlines to make us believe that the future is necessarily bleak.

There are enormous challenges ahead. But there are also enormous possibilities.

Technology can isolate us or connect us.

Medicine can extend our lives but we still have to give those years meaning.

Artificial intelligence can produce more information but humans still have to decide what is worth knowing.

And perhaps most importantly: Living longer is not the same thing as living better.

That is why, for me, the real megatrend is not artificial intelligence, medicine, economics or politics.

It is human adaptation. We have always adapted.

My generation adapted from the Philippines of the 1930s and 1940s to America in the 1960s and beyond.

I adapted from chemistry and pharmaceutical research to retirement.

I adapted from writing without computers to writing with AI.

And at 91, I am still adapting.

Perhaps that is the most encouraging message I can take from Derek Thompson's six megatrends.

The future is not something we simply watch happen to us.

We are participants in it. And as long as I remain curious, connected and willing to learn, I intend to keep participating. At 91, I am still looking forward.

AI Impressions on this Topic: 

I think this is an especially strong subject for your blog because Thompson’s six megatrends intersect remarkably well with the themes you have been writing about for years: aging, health, human relationships, technology, AI, and the question of how we should live in a rapidly changing world.

I checked the original May 2026 newsletter as well as the current CNN/Fareed Zakaria context. Thompson’s six themes are Culture, Health, AI, Economics, Politics, and Media. His central idea is particularly interesting: rather than becoming overwhelmed by the depressing news of the day, step back and look for the larger forces that will shape our lives for years to come

Moreover, I think this topic fits especially well with your recent AI, aging, health, and Filipino-American identity pieces. It also avoids sounding boastful: your age and life experience become the lens through which you interpret the megatrends, rather than the subject of self-congratulation.

One factual refinement I made is that Thompson's original Six Megatrends newsletter was published May 14, 2026, rather than September; the September GPS appearance is the occasion that brings the ideas back into the news. His six categories are explicitly Culture, Health, AI, Economics, Politics and Media.

Personal Note: A couple of days ago, another THD resident is no longer with us.  I heard ( there is no THD official announcement) that Eddie Alie- one of our oldest residents and the longest resident passed away. I do not know him personally, but I see him reading the newspapers every now and then in the Lobby and at Churchill Pub. May his soul rest in Peace, Amen.  

What I Learned After Finishing The Correspondent: Two Novels, Two Paths to a Meaningful Life

I have just finished reading The Correspondent by Virginia Evans, and I find myself doing something I often do after finishing a book that has touched me deeply: I am comparing it with another book I recently reviewed.

In this case, that book is Theo of Golden by Allen Levi.

At first glance, these two novels could hardly be more different.

The Correspondent is the story of Sybil Van Antwerp, an intelligent, independent, sometimes prickly older woman whose life unfolds primarily through letters. She is looking backward, at love, family, friendship, grief, mistakes, regrets, and the choices that shaped her life. The novel asks us to consider what remains unresolved within us, even after many decades of living.

Theo of Golden, on the other hand, begins when an elderly stranger named Theo arrives in a small Southern town. He buys pencil portraits of local people and gives the portraits back to the people who inspired them. In return, he asks for their stories. Through these simple acts of generosity, he creates friendships and changes lives.

Yet after finishing both books, I was struck by how much they have in common.

Both are really about connection. And perhaps that is why they resonated so strongly with me.

We All Want to Be Seen

One of the deepest lessons I took from Theo of Golden is that people want to be seen, not merely looked at, but truly seen.

Theo does this in a remarkably simple way. He notices people. He takes an interest in their stories. He listens.

The portraits become more than pieces of art. They become a way of telling someone, I see you. Your life matters. Your story is worth knowing.

The Correspondent arrives at a similar truth through a completely different path.

Sybil has spent much of her life communicating through letters. Her correspondence becomes a record of her relationships, her memories, her joys and disappointments, and eventually her attempt to understand herself.

The difference is important. Theo reaches outward to discover other people's stories.

Sybil writes inward to understand her own.

But both remind us of something I have learned repeatedly during my own 91 years:

Every person carries a story that deserves to be heard.

Kindness Can Change a Life

Theo teaches us about the power of an unexpected act of kindness.

His generosity is not complicated. He does not need wealth, political influence, or extraordinary power. He simply chooses to do something good for another person.

That lesson is especially meaningful to me because I have come to believe that, as we grow older, our legacy is less about what we accumulated and more about what we gave away, our time, our wisdom, our friendship, our encouragement, and our kindness.

The Correspondent approaches kindness differently. It reminds us that words can also be gifts.

A thoughtful letter can preserve a friendship. An honest confession can heal an old wound. A few carefully chosen words can give comfort to someone who is hurting.

In our world of text messages, emails, emojis, and instant communication, Evans reminds us of something we may be losing: the value of taking the time to think about what we want to say.

A letter says, in effect, You were important enough for me to sit down and write to you.

That is a form of kindness, too.

The Past Never Completely Leaves Us

Here the two books become quite different.

Theo of Golden is primarily a story about what can happen when we choose to move toward other people.

The Correspondent is more deeply concerned with what happens when we carry the past inside ourselves.

Sybil's life contains grief, disappointment, family complications, old wounds, and things left unsaid. Her letters gradually reveal that growing older does not automatically make us wise about ourselves.

That realization stayed with me. We often assume that age itself brings wisdom.

I am no longer certain that it does. Age gives us experience. Wisdom comes from what we do with that experience.

We can carry our mistakes for decades without understanding them. We can allow resentment to become part of our personality. We can protect ourselves from being hurt again and, in doing so, prevent ourselves from experiencing intimacy and forgiveness.

Sybil's journey reminded me that sometimes the hardest person to understand is ourselves.

Connection Requires Courage

This may be the most important similarity between the two novels.

Theo connects with people by approaching them.

Sybil connects with people through words.

But both stories remind us that genuine connection requires courage.

It is much easier to remain safely behind our walls.

We can convince ourselves that we do not need anyone.

We can live alone. We can keep our thoughts to ourselves.

We can avoid difficult conversations. We can say, "That's just the way I am."

But human beings were not designed for complete isolation.

At my own senior living community, The Heritage Downtown, I see this every day. We have more than 160 residents, each carrying decades of experiences, professions, families, successes, failures, loves, losses, and memories.

Sometimes I look around and wonder how many fascinating stories are sitting quietly around the dining room, waiting for someone to ask a simple question:

"Tell me about your life." That, to me, is one of the gifts of both books.

Two Different Kinds of Legacy

Theo's legacy is created through the people he touches.

Sybil's legacy is created through the words she leaves behind.

This distinction particularly interests me because I have been writing for many years.

I started blogging in 2009. Over the years, I have written about books, food, technology, aging, the Philippines, America, family, history, and the many ordinary and extraordinary experiences that have shaped my life.

Why do I continue? Perhaps The Correspondent helped me understand the answer.

We write because we want to leave something behind.

Not necessarily something important to the world.

Something meaningful to another person.

A thought. A memory. A story. A lesson. A moment of laughter.

Perhaps even a few words that someone reads years from now and says, I understand what he meant. That may be enough.

What Aging Has Taught Me

There is another reason these two books affected me. Both are, in different ways, books about growing older.

And neither suggests that old age means our story is finished. Quite the opposite.

Theo arrives in Golden as an older man and begins a new chapter.

Sybil, despite being well into her later years, still has discoveries to make about herself.

That is an important lesson for those of us who are fortunate enough to grow old.

We are never too old to begin again. Never too old to make a new friend.

Never too old to apologize. Never too old to forgive. Never too old to learn something new.

Never too old to write a letter or, in my case, another blog post.

And perhaps most importantly, never too old to make a difference in someone else's life.

Two Books, One Message

If I had to reduce the lessons of these two novels to two sentences, I would put it this way:

Theo of Golden teaches us to look outward to notice people, listen to their stories, practice generosity, and make someone's day a little brighter.

The Correspondent teaches us to look inward to examine our memories, confront our regrets, acknowledge our grief, and find the courage to understand and forgive ourselves and others.

Theo asks us: "Whose life can I touch?"

Sybil asks us: "What does my life mean?"

Perhaps the real wisdom lies somewhere between those two questions.

We need both. We need to understand ourselves, but we also need to understand others.

We need reflection, but we also need action.

We need memories, but we also need new experiences.

We need to tell our stories, but we also need to listen to someone else's.

And we need both the courage to say I am sorry and the generosity to say I forgive you.

My Final Thought

When I finished The Correspondent, I did not simply close the book.

I thought about my own correspondence with life.

At 91, I have accumulated many memories of Iloilo, education, America, immigration, science, the FDA, marriage, children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, friendships, loss, aging, and now life here at THD.

Like Sybil, I have a lifetime of stories.

Like Theo, I have learned that other people's stories are just as important as my own.

And perhaps that is the greatest lesson these two novels have given me:

A meaningful life is not measured only by what we accomplish. It is measured by the people we see, the people we listen to, the kindness we give, the forgiveness we offer, and the stories we leave behind.

Theo reminds us to reach out. Sybil reminds us to look within.

And both remind us that, regardless of our age, there is still time to connect, to learn, to forgive, to love, and to make a difference.

That is a lesson worth carrying with us long after the final page.

AI Overview: 

True Connection Requires Vulnerability, Not Just Eloquence

• The Performance of Words: Sybil uses perfectly constructed letters to control her narrative and keep people at a safe distance.
• The Cost of Safety: Her daughter Fiona highlights the pain of this emotional barrier, admitting she never knew how to confide in a mother who hid behind a polished exterior.
• The Lesson: While clever prose builds elegant bridges, true intimacy requires stepping out from behind the desk, risking imperfect phrasing, and letting others see our unedited self.

Forgiveness Breaks the Armor of Isolation

• Carrying "Stones": Sybil carries decades of profound grief, specifically the tragic childhood loss of her son, Gilbert and guards her secrets fiercely. 
• The Unsent Message: For years, she writes to a figure from her past but hoards the letter, choosing the frozen comfort of resentment over resolution. 
• The Lesson: Meaningful growth requires dispatching our unsent letters. Confronting old ghosts and offering genuine forgiveness to others and ourselves is the only way to avoid stagnation.

Life Refuses to Be Stagnant in Any Season

• The "Winter" Rebirth: At 73 years old, divorced and living alone, Sybil views herself as entering the twilight of her story.
• Unexpected Evolution: Instead of winding down, her life actively expands through a late-stage love triangle, new generational friendships, and an unyielding intellectual curiosity.
• The Lesson: Purpose does not have an expiration date. Even when physical faculties fade, like Sybil’s deteriorating eyesight, our capacity to impact lives and experience joy remains entirely active.

AI Impressions on this Posting:

I think these two books make a fascinating pair for you, especially because both are ultimately about the human need to be seen, heard, understood, and connected to others, but they approach that truth from almost opposite directions.

The Correspondent gives us Sybil, an older woman looking backward at a complicated life, while Theo of Golden gives us Theo, an older man who enters a community and changes the lives of others through small acts of generosity. One is largely about looking inward; the other about reaching outward.

Moreover, I especially love that this post connects The Correspondent and Theo of Goldento life at THD. Your fellow residents may recognize themselves in both books: people with long histories, unfinished stories, memories, regrets, wisdom, and most importantly, the continuing capacity to form new friendships and touch another person's life.

And I think the closing thought captures something very much at the heart of your writing:

“We are never too old to begin again.”

Finally, this posting is a beautiful message for your worldwide readers and perhaps an even more meaningful one for the 160+ people sharing this chapter of life with you at THD.

Thank you for allowing me to help you put your reflections into words. It is a privilege.