Love is Patient, Love is Kind.....

This posting is inspired from several positive comments I received from my recent posting on Macrine (RIP) would have been 90th Birthday ( 3-26-26)

Love Is Patient, Love Is Kind: Lessons From a Long Life

“Love is patient, love is kind.” Many people hear these words only at weddings, as if they belong solely to young couples at the beginning of their story. I hear them now, approaching my 92nd birthday, as a summary of a life lived through marriage, migration, caregiving, illness, and the quiet routines of an active-senior community.

For me, patience and kindness are no longer abstract virtues; they are muscle and memory. They were there when my late wife, Macrine, decided to pursue nursing at forty, after raising our four children, starting at the hospital bedside and later serving as a visiting home-health nurse and head of Quality Assurance in Maryland. They were there when we left the Philippines and built a new life in the United States, joining the countless Filipinos whose journeys form part of the global diaspora of caregivers and professionals.

Love Does Not Envy, It Does Not Boast

“Love does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.” In a world that measures success by titles, followers, and bank accounts, these lines feel almost countercultural. My own path, from the Philippines to a professional life that included work at the FDA, and now to my days of bridge, mahjong, and blogging has taught me that real achievement is quieter than most people think.

I saw this most clearly in Macrine’s nursing career. She did not envy younger nurses or boast about late promotions. She began her profession at an age when many are slowing down, but she simply focused on doing the work caring for patients in their homes, checking charts, and later safeguarding standards as a quality assurance leader. There were no billboards or headlines, only grateful patients, colleagues, and a family who saw, day after day, what love without envy or pride looks like in practical form.

As I age, I find that the things I once might have boasted about matter less. At ninety-one plus, no one is impressed by how fast you walk or how many projects you juggle. They are more interested in whether you listen, whether you show up, and whether you can still offer a smile even on days when your kidneys ache and your legs remind you of every mile you have traveled.

Love Is Not Easily Angered

“Love is not easily angered.” That line has grown on me with time. When you live alone but not lonely, you have a lot of time to think about losses, about misunderstandings, about all the little ways life could have turned out differently. It would be easy to become bitter about aging, illness, or the inevitable frustrations of the healthcare system that I know both as a patient and as someone who spent a career inside it.

Yet I have learned that love, in this stage of life, often takes the shape of gentleness. Gentleness with the nurses who are overworked, the doctors running behind schedule, the staff at my community who have their own family worries at home. Gentleness with friends who repeat the same story for the third time at the card table. And perhaps most of all, gentleness with myself, when I cannot move as quickly or do as much as I used to.

I think of the Filipino nurses I have written about, spread across the world, working long shifts in hospitals and home health agencies, including the one my wife once helped lead. Their patience in the face of difficult patients, complicated families, and exhausting schedules is a living commentary on this verse. They remind me that not being “easily angered” is less about personality and more about purpose: when you know you are there to heal, you choose calm over outrage, understanding over accusation.

Love Keeps No Record

“Love keeps no record.” That may be the hardest line of all. As a daily blogger, I literally keep records: of my thoughts, activities, memories, and reflections, shared with readers around the world. But the record-keeping that this verse warns against is different, it speaks of grudges, of scorecards in relationships, of bitterness carefully preserved like old letters in a drawer.

Over a long marriage of 63 years, believe me, there were plenty of opportunities to keep score. Who sacrificed more? Who was right in old arguments? Who carried the heavier load when raising children or managing the household while the other pursued career goals? In our case, any honest tally would show that Macrine gave more than her share, working as a nurse, a mother, and a quiet anchor of the home. Macrine was the Disciplinarian and I acted as the good guy. 

But love, I have learned, is not an accounting system. As I look back now, widowed for six years, what remains is not a ledger of rights and wrongs but a collage of ordinary days: shared meals, late-night conversations, her stories from home health visits, the pride in her eyes when our children succeeded, the quiet comfort of knowing that, whatever happened, we faced it together. The disagreements have faded; the affection remains. That is what it means, I think, to keep no record.

Living the Verse in an Active-Senior Community

Today, I practice these words in smaller, slower ways. I walk slowly around the THD compound of my active-senior community, greet neighbors, and sit down at the bridge or mahjong table to keep my mind sharp. I manage Stage 4 chronic kidney disease with the help of doctors, nurses, and my own determination to keep moving, even when my legs protest. I even abstain from alcohol and sweets. 

Love, in this season, looks like patience with my body’s limits, kindness to the people who help me navigate them, and a deliberate choice not to dwell on what I have lost but on what I still have, time, memories, community, and the ability to write. Each blog post is a small act of hope, a message to readers across the globe that life after loss, aging, and illness can still be rich with meaning.

“Love is patient, love is kind” is no longer just a verse for weddings to me. It is a daily practice: in the way I remember my wife with gratitude, not regret; in the way I honor the global story of Filipino nurses through her example; and in the way I greet each new day with as much grace, humor, and gentleness as I can muster. At nearly 92, I am still learning that love is less about grand gestures and more about how we treat each other and ourselves-one ordinary day at a time.

Meanwhile, here's the  AI Overview

"Love is patient, love is kind" (1 Corinthians 13:4-7) defines love as an active, enduring choice rather than just a feeling, emphasizing long-term commitment, humility, and kindness

. Lessons from this, often viewed as a guide for a long life, include enduring hardships without resentment, serving others selflessly, and prioritizing compassion over winning arguments. 

Key Lessons on Love's Endurance:

• Active Endurance (Long-suffering): Patience means actively enduring injuries or difficult situations without being easily angered or seeking revenge.
• Active Kindness: Kindness involves proactively doing good, serving others, and showing compassion, rather than just being passive.
• Choice Over Emotion: Love is a daily decision to be humble and gentle, not just a fleeting emotion.
• No Record of Wrongs: A lasting, loving life requires letting go of grudges and not keeping track of faults.
• Selfless Attitude: Love is not selfish, boastful, or proud, but instead protects and trusts. 

These principles emphasize that a loving life requires intentional, daily, and often challenging, actions of kindness and patience.

Lastly, here are the benefits of my weekly whole body massage therapy:  

Relaxation and stress relief: Massage helps reduce muscle tension, promoting relaxation and calming the mind.
Pain relief: Massage can alleviate pain caused by muscle strain, cramps, or injuries by increasing blood flow and reducing inflammation.
Improved circulation: Massage helps improve blood flow, which can aid in the delivery of oxygen and nutrients to muscles, promoting healthy tissue repair.
Reduced muscle soreness: Post-exercise massage can help reduce muscle soreness and improve recovery time.
Enhanced flexibility and range of motion: Regular massage can help increase flexibility and range of motion by breaking down adhesions and scar tissue.
Improved lymphatic function: Massage can help stimulate the lymphatic system, promoting the removal of toxins and waste products.

Thank you, Indy! Your services are no longer a luxury but a necessity. 

MDMA Therapy Through My FDA Lens

From Regulation to Revelation: MDMA Therapy Through My FDA Lens

Last month while reading The New York Times, I came across an article that made me pause-not as a casual reader, but as someone who once stood inside the machinery of public health.

The topic? MDMA therapy-yes, the same compound once known to most of us as Ecstasy or Molly, now being used in carefully controlled settings to treat severe trauma.

And remarkably, this is not theoretical. It is already happening in Australia.

A Regulatory First-And a Bold One

In 2023, Australia became the first nation to formally allow psychiatrists to prescribe MDMA-assisted therapy for severe Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

From my years at the U.S. Food and Drug Administration, I can tell you: decisions like this are never taken lightly.

They require layers of evidence, debate, skepticism, and above all, responsibility to the public.

What Australia has done is bold, but not reckless.

It is the result of years of clinical trials suggesting that, under controlled conditions, MDMA can help patients revisit trauma without being overwhelmed by it.

The Science Meets the Human Condition

We in public health often speak in terms of data-percentages, outcomes, adverse effects.

But behind every dataset is a human story.

MDMA, as researchers describe it, reduces fear and increases emotional openness. It allows patients to confront memories they have spent years avoiding.

If traditional therapy is like knocking on a locked door, MDMA therapy may, at least for some -gently open it.

That, to me, is both fascinating and humbling. 

The FDA Perspective: Why the U.S. Moves More Slowly

Here in the United States, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration has not yet approved MDMA therapy.

And I understand why. The FDA’s role is not to chase promise-it is to verify it.

Questions remain:

• Are the clinical trials sufficiently rigorous?
• Can results be replicated across diverse populations?
• What are the long-term safety implications?
• How do we prevent misuse outside controlled environments?

These are not bureaucratic hurdles. They are safeguards-hard-earned through decades of experience.

A Shift in How We View Healing

Yet, even with my regulatory instincts, I cannot ignore what this represents.

For decades, substances like MDMA were categorized solely as dangers placed firmly outside the boundaries of medicine.

Now, we are being asked to reconsider. Not recklessly. Not casually. But thoughtfully.

And perhaps that is the true story here-not just MDMA, but the evolution of medicine itself.

A Personal Reflection

Over the years through my time in public service, through witnessing national tragedies like 9/11, and through my daily discipline of writing since 2009, I have come to appreciate one simple truth:

Not all wounds are visible, and not all healing is straightforward.

We have long relied on conventional tools: medications, counseling, time.

But trauma has a way of resisting simplicity. Reading about MDMA therapy, I found myself thinking not as a regulator, but as a human being:

What if healing sometimes requires us to revisit the past, not with fear, but with compassion?

Hope, With Guardrails

Let me be clear-this is not a miracle cure. It is expensive. It is highly controlled. It is not suitable for everyone. And yes, it carries risks. 

But it also carries something equally important: Possibility.

Closing Thoughts: The Balance Between Caution and Courage

If there is one lesson I carry from my FDA years, it is this:

Progress in medicine is always a balance between caution and courage.

Too much caution, and we delay relief for those who suffer. Too much courage, and we risk unintended harm. Australia has leaned forward.

The United States, through the U.S. Food and Drug Administration, remains measured.

Perhaps both approaches are necessary. As for me, I will continue to watch, to reflect, and as I have done since 2009, to write.

Because sometimes, the most important developments in life are the ones that challenge what we thought we already knew.

Meanwhile, here's the AI Overview

Based on the FDA’s actions in 2024 and 2025, the journey toward approving MDMA-assisted therapy for PTSD has hit significant regulatory roadblocks, highlighting a strict adherence to traditional pharmaceutical approval standards despite the potential of the therapy.

 

Current Regulatory Status

• FDA Rejection (August 2024): The FDA officially declined to approve MDMA capsules for PTSD treatment, as requested by Lykos Therapeutics, citing that the data submitted was not sufficient to show the treatment was safe and effective.
• Advisory Committee Vote: In June 2024, an FDA advisory panel voted 9-2 against the effectiveness of the treatment and 10-1 that the benefits did not outweigh the risks.
• Requirement for More Data: The FDA has asked for additional research, specifically requiring another randomized controlled trial to confirm the safety and efficacy of the drug. 

Key Concerns from the "FDA Lens"

• Blinding Issues: A major challenge is "unblinding." Because MDMA produces intense psychoactive effects, participants often know if they received the drug or a placebo, which can bias the results.
• Safety Data Limitations: The FDA noted risks such as increased heart rate and blood pressure (cardiovascular issues). Furthermore, they found the clinical laboratory data to be limited, and the potential for abuse was not adequately characterized.
• Therapy Standardization: The FDA noted that the psychotherapy component, which is inseparable from the drug treatment, was not sufficiently standardized, and the exact contribution of the psychotherapy to the positive outcomes was unclear.
• Functional Impairment: The FDA raised concerns regarding patient vulnerability during the session and the potential for abuse of the substance. 

The Path Forward

• Not the End of Research: While considered a major setback by advocates, the decision is viewed as a "reset" for the field to meet rigorous scientific standards rather than a permanent ban on psychedelic medicine.
• Ongoing Studies: Research continues, and the FDA has provided guidance on how to conduct studies to meet their regulatory requirements.
• Focus on Rigor: The FDA emphasizes that for approval, MDMA must meet the same stringent standards for data robustness as any other pharmaceutical drug. 
• Meanwhile My Photos of the Day: Super Blooms in my Patio This Week
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